A football manager is a role model during your career. He will always lead to the right directions to build a successful career and establish yourself.
But here are most common signs if a football manager is trying to controlling your life:
1. Your mates ask you if you fancy going up the pub on Friday night. Except your Gateshead team is on the verge of the Premier League so you’re like…
2. You know EVERYTHING about a player your team is signing - everything. You convince yourself he will turn fortunes around. You tell everyone what a good signing he’ll be. Then you realise you’ve never, ever seen him play in real life - and all your opinions have come from Football Manager.
3. You have delved into the editor to add all your mates on to the game. Big John has pace of 4 but passing of 18, Wazza has speed 20 but crossing of 5. You spend time debating whether Smithy deserves 16 or 17 heading - before realising his career highlight is playing for the Dog & Duck in Sunday League Division Five.
4. You could have aced your exams, absolutely aced them. You could have got straight A*s at GCSE and followed that up with As at A Level. Then you bought Football Manager.
5. And you’ve absolutely perfected the Alt and Tab technique. “Are you revising, Ben? Cue footsteps up the stairs. An Alt and Tab later and your big scouting mission has turned into notes for your maths GCSE on the screen. Perfect.
6. You'll start speaking the Football Manager language. Defensive midfielder becomes DM. Central attacking midfielder becomes CAM. And you can’t understand anyone who thinks otherwise.
7. The manager’s job comes up at your club in real life - and you genuinely think you could do a better job. So much so that you become ‘that’ guy who hands his CV in to get it.
8. You’re supposed to be doing chores that normal people do - cleaning the bedroom, looking after the kids, doing homework. Anything. But you just score in the FA Cup final and end up like…
9. A player who’s good on the game pops us and scores on Gilette Soccer Saturday - and you give the TV screen a reassuring nod. You knew he was good three months ago… This only furthers your belief you are in fact a managerial God.
10. In real life, your relationship is hanging by a thread because you’ve been playing Football Manager too much. On the game, you’re losing the FA Cup final. And there’s no doubt what matters more - it’s the latter every time.
11. You have a bond with a club SOLELY due to the game. You’ll find yourself supporting them in real life and putting them in your accumulators - all because you once took them from League One to the Champions League.
12. You concede a late goal and you get angry, very angry, and end up like...
13. You may manage Manchester United, but you always organise a friendly against your local club. Taunton Town v Manchester United has a ring to it. And you’ll always play it away - so you put money back into the town.
14. You become incredibly, incredibly superstitious. You think putting a piece of paper over half the screen helps your team score goals. Or you believe a quick check of the live league table means you’ll score. And you don’t care if you look like a right t**t doing so.
15. Your bid for a top player has been accepted. And you’re like…
16. You start developing irrational hatred for players who become unsettled while you’re managing them. So much so that you convince yourself that they really are bad players in real life.
17. You recognise no players because they all start retiring. Harry Kane gets appointed boss of Tottenham and the Celtic kid in real life - Karamoko Dembele - has just retired. But you carry on playing because you’ve got Notts County to the Prem.
18. You have a day off school and your mum asks you to do the chores. She comes home and you’re like…
19. And before the game you find yourself doing mock interviews - in front of the mirror.
20. One of your friends mentions he saves his game before big matches - then restarts his computer if he loses. And you hate them, absolutely hate them, so you're not going to invite them to your wedding. (Although you will consider trying to track down Cherno Samba and inviting him..
21. You plan to play 'one more game' before going to bed. Three hours later...
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